Monday, October 31, 2011

Devotional blackmail

Better hurry up and get used to it - you're late for work.

Planning a session...hope it's like this.

Sexy wife wants to plkease a real man
She really appreciates it, because she knows how uncomfortable it makes you feel, seeing her in lingerie like that.  You can go and run some cold water over it if you like - but make sure you dry it off, so it can't rust.

Rhymes with hickory switch
...and I'm certainly not allowed to write it.

Eating Raoul
Men can get so frustrated waiting for women to get ready.  It's a good thing she has you to help.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Some more found femdom

Here's one:

This has to be the kinkiest thing I have ever seen on TV.  It's a show I've never even heard of, and it seems almost painfully stupid in every way.  I think watching any other episode would probably make my eyeballs explode.  Not a line can be uttered without gurning, not an actor acts without over-acting.  You can almost hear the 'ba-boom' after each obvious punchline.  It's hard to believe it's aimed at adults.  And yet it ran with one episode that contains everything that the Exit to Eden movie could have had and didn't (you'll see why I compare it to that terrible film if you watch it).

Look: a warning to people who take their BDSM seriously.  This is just a joke about the lifestyle, using it as an excuse for a cheap laugh, OK?  I know that offends some people, and I understand why.  Personally, I find mainstream depictions of the lifestyle that are just kitschy stereotypes rather erotic - in a way, the cartoonishness is oddly part of the attraction.  If you want to see a celebration of the seriousness of the emotional commitment of an S&M relationship, this programme is not for you.  Nor's this blog, probably.

But the leading actress is icily attractive, and there are some nice scenes with good stuff going on, mainly in the background.  So anyway, if you like that sort of thing (and I warn you again - it is quite stunningly stupid), here you go:

PS - the Hulu thing will only work if your computer is located within the USA.  But that's why we have proxy servers, right?  Of course, you didn't hear that from me...

And another...

If you're British you probably already know this, but there's an (equally kitschy!  Less explicit.  Less stupid.) episode of Space 1999 - Britain's rather strange answer to Star Trek - called Devil's Planet:

The ladies with whips appear around 8 minutes in.  Though at 7, there's a sequence of a spaceship crash-landing that's really rather good for 1977!

In the novellization (oh yes: as a teenager I scoured the bookshops until I found it - bet that volume outsold all other Space 1999 books) came the line "I shall hunt him down and from his skin I shall make a whip!".  It still haunts my dreams.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Learning to disrespect myself for who I am

I went on a course at work this week that included a module on building self-esteem.  Fortunately I'll be visiting my Significant Other soon, and she can usually put it right back to where it should be.  And it gave me an idea for one of the captions below.

On with the captioned images (of female domination)!

Domme secretary dumb boss
I think she's due a pay rise.

Don't look down!
How did you get on?  Did you?  So did I.  Never mind - maybe next time.

Sneering domme psychiatrist...yum
You don't have an inferiority complex, you see - you actually are inferior.

Two dominas play a bit rough
Never mind.  These things happen.


Anne sells a slave
The worst of it is that she's a multi-millionaire film star.  It's not as if she needs the money.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Even more femdom captions than that - and some found femdom

Hey, has anyone out there noticed how much femdom there is in ZZ Top videos?  I was watching one for the music (I do, secretly, occasionally use the Internet for looking at things that are not porn - hope I never get found out), and was transported back to happy days in front of the TV as a teenager, desperately hoping for something pervy.  Anyway there's this.  And this (give it time - or skip to 2.00 or so and look out for the treatment of the guy in the pullover at 2.20!).

If you like power-dressing 80s babes with big hair that is.  Oh, I do.  I really do.

Then there's this, in a very different style.  You have to get near the end to work out what's going on.

Hmmm.  ZZ Top.  Beardy perverts, eh?

Anyway, on with the show:

Cash, carry and serve
Actually, even if you don't recycle them it's still better than all those nasty plastic bags.

Domme gets a haircut
He graduated top of his class in hairdresser school.  After all, he had mastered the art of studying in med school.  Being whipped for poor performance helped, too.

Whipped silly by two divine dommes
It wouldn't be so bad, if the things she said about him weren't so personal - you know?

Well whipped slave is done for the day
It's her favourite part of the day.

Anne knows just how to cheer you up
Actually, when you really think about it there are lots of reasons why life might be easier without balls, around Anne.  There's Tuesdays for example.  She usually comes back from the studio feeling rather grumpy.  That'll hurt less after tomorrow.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Even more femdom captions

The title today is perhaps a little unimaginative.  But as the most popular posting I have - by far - is one called "More femdom captions", I thought I'd avoid the tortous unfunny puns, or references to early 80s soft punk, and just go straight for Google's g-spot.

So - look out for posts in the future amusingly captioned "A few more femdom captions", "Femdom captions and the real truth behind 9/11" and of course "Oi Google! - over here for the femdom captions".

Still the only Google result for "hot chicks in empire-line dresses", though!  That'll bring the traffic.


Colin dreams of maledom
A man can only be pushed so far.  Ithink he's reaching his limits.

Not that he was high to begin with
It's a shame because actually he has a very high IQ just now.  Still, astrophysics doesn't get the toilet clean, does it?  He'll be happier this way. Or if he isn't, no one will care. 

Castration oh my - that brings in the punters too.
That nurse might be a bit cross with you, for getting her into trouble like that.  Still, I expect she'll put the local anaesthetic in anyway.  She's a professional, you know.

She'll try Fibonaccir next
Sorry - bit of a strange mood today.

Cute, no?
Isn't she kind?  Let's hope she's in a good mood tomorrow morning.  Try not to look too disappointed if she says no, though - she doesn't like having her decisions questioned.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Learning to crawl

Chrissie Hynde.  What more could there be to say on a blog about female domination?  Chrissie Hynde.

Anyway, that was Chrissie Hynde.  Here are the captioned images of female domination.

Dommes mostly love rules.
Actually, it's only by making mistakes that we learn.  Well: by making mistakes and being whipped for it, I mean.

Because she says so.  And has a whip.
Don't worry - you'll have plenty of time.

Lucky househusband
He was hoping for a new ironing board but managed to hide his disappointment.

OWK dreams and reality
What a lot of text.  Click and zoom, click and zoom.  Y'know, I've always thought those 'guardress' uniforms are just me, I really must click and zoom.

It must be such a relief not to have to cope with all that begging for mercy, not to mention the hysterical screams.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Pleading for mercy

...and other forms of foreplay.

Whip it
Still, tomorrow she could play double or quits.

Pray for him.
How bad can it be?

A slave's proper place
Still, it's good to have a trade in these uncertain times. 

Here boy!
Little yappy thing - you know?  Jumps up high.

Put your life in her hands
That's a relief.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Desperately seeking contempt

Sometimes it finds me.  I will be visiting my Significant Other today.  Elegant.  Cool.  Glamorous.  French.  Prepared to tolerate my existence.  I am so lucky.

They do scream therapy too.  Nor primal scream therapy. Just the ordinary sort.

Then you'll know you've only another 12 due when you get home, and you can really enjoy the evening.

Bullying is wrong.  Simply wrong.  And just occasionally unspeakably sexy.

I always used to think this was a very frequent mistake, especially for non-native speakers of English.  But Miss Hunter assures me that no one makes it more than once.  I stand corrected.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

The agony and the ecstasy

His and hers, that is, his and hers.

Remember kids - never play without a safeword.  Unless she really wants to.
Men can be so selfish.  There's nothing wrong with just letting it go on until she comes, OK?

I'm tied up at the moment har de har har.
Of course, she could answer it.  She just doesn't want to.

Femdom bitch isnt going to be too happy with this text.
It's your own fault.  It's a bad word, a hurtful word.  You'll find out exactly how hurtful.

Service to the higher power.
She needn't have worried.  Caroline was delighted, and even took Harry home with her.  They have so much to talk about.  Well, she does.